ULTIMATE MEGA MIX

I wanted to write something a little bit “meta” about this whole song-writing experience, while also touching upon our A.I. overlords.

This really was just a test song at first, but then become something quite infectious, and became the opener for my 2nd album…

This was the first song I wrote with the app, as a surprise song that my husband would discover in our shared Apple Music account. But it became sooooo addictive for the two of us, that it inspired me making the rest of the first album. I really feel like it’s “radio ready” right now.

I wanted to write a love song to my husband, but I thought it would be funnier to put my jokey spin on it. We’ve been playing the “I love you MORE” game (that many couples are familiar with) for 20 years now, sometimes taking it to great over-the-top lengths. So what better than a “diss track” for how much my love is stronger than his? (I’m fully expecting a “retaliation track” from him at some point, where he says HIS love is actually stronger. As if!!).

What started as an inside-joke turned into an instantly relatable hit. and launched DJ Rojo’s songwriting career! (P.S. – “The Luckiest” in the lyrics is a reference to the Ben Folds track, which has been “our song” for 20 years).

Thankfully I haven’t had any “Vacations From Hell”. Although I’ve had vacations with plenty of bad moments – haven’t we all? (The song is an almagamation of multiple trips that had some occasional bad moments). Luckily there’s always enough good stuff that happens, that the trips ultimately get saved.

But there have been some vacations that have come pretty darn close. Those times when nothing seems to be going right…

CONTAINS EXPLICIT LYRICS

Before my spinal injury while I was still a teen (see “I Fell Off a Cliff” below), I would have probably been classified as a major “bottom”.

But after my saccident, it became a little more complicated, yet I would still ocassionally do it.

However, after another physical trauma more recently, it became even more difficult for multiple reasons. So bottoming is simply something I can’t really do with confidence any more (even though I wish I could).

Topping is not really my thing, but I will try if I have to. I’d just rather not. So… apparently that makes me a “Side”. Sadly Sides are just NOT popular in the gay world at all. So yeah… this topic needed a song. It’s become one of my favorites, musically — it’s almost a shame I can’t share it more widely. 🤪

I’m allergic to alcohol, and I’ve never done drugs. So of course, growing up and going to parties, other people insisted that it was absolutely impossible that I could have any fun. After all, how could I possibly enjoy myself if I wasn’t completely drunk, stoned out of my mind, or barely making any sense at all???

So yeah… I’ve had a lot of “parties of one” in my lifetime….

Those of you who know me personally know that I fell off a cliff and broke my back when I was still a teen.

While most would see this as a tragic event, I have always seen it as something that radically changed my life for the better. Had this never happened, I would probably still be living in L.A. (a city I hate) and probably working at a Starbucks (not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I’m happy I’ve been able to work in two of my dream industries).

Basically, this event really opened my eyes, radically changed my outlook, and made me want to change everything about my life for the better.

Anyone in the gay community will tell you that there’s an, uh… trend that tends to happen where guys seem to basically date “clones” of themselves. 🙈 Here in Barcelona, especially in the “bear community,” the phenomenon is quite strong. So I thought I’d poke a little fun at it….

Basically… everything is YOU. Yes, even that pile of poop making a frown. Isn’t that so romantic???

He’s overly optimistic, and just wants to “keep on dancing,” despite how the world might treat him…

This one really captured the ’80s feel I was going for…

On April 28, 2025, all the power went out in mainland Spain, Portugal, and parts of France. This was not the first city-wide blackout I’ve experienced in my life, but definitely the first that affected a whole country. Without internet or even cell service (everyone was trying to use it, so it became unsuable), it became super evident that we as a society are just NOT prepared for events like this. 🙈

It lasted less than a day for most, but it made me wonder… what would happen if it lasted much longer? How would people cope and react? It made me think of the show “Carol and the End of the World” — many would probably just want to party as if the world was ending.

This song talks about my frustration about never being able to get any “action,” no matter how hard I try. 🙈 (Especially here in Barcelona. See my song “Bone Your Clone”).

A lot of guys can probably relate to this, as so many other gay guys suffer from the “well… maybe there’s something even better somewhere else” mentality, and they can never just commit to meeting/being with someone who is actually super interested.

This is the first of my songs that’s inspired by another one: the Rolling Stone’s “Can’t Get No (Satisfaction)”. Originally I wanted to do a Weird Al-esque direct parody of the song, but the AI that I was using to assist me wouldn’t let me. First, if you use too-similar lyrics, it refuses to generate anything. Then copying the musical style is impossible. I guess this is a good thing that the AI is protective of other’s music!

So I gave up, and this is more of a unique song now that’s just “inspired by” rather than a cover parody.

I was looking for inspiration for a new song, and so I asked my husband what he thought the next song should be about.

“Pizza!”

Pizza, eh? Challenge accepted! 🙈
But I couldn’t just write a song about pizza and toppings and whatnot. I wanted to write about my favorite style of pizza, and — in a way — about my favorite place in the world: New York. I miss it so much…. and the pizza too.

So this song is my love letter to NYC, with references to folding slices with one hand, and the infamous “Pizza Rat”!

I just wanted to make something super sweet about my husband and I. My favorite thing about him is how we can have these “laugh attacks” together, and how ONLY the two of us would find what we’re laughing about actually funny.

It was maybe a bit “too sweet” at first, so I felt it needed something else to give it an “edge.” Oh, right — death!! That gave it the perfect balance it needed. I’m sure you can relate — those times you are laughing so hard, you can’t breathe and you think you might die?

This song takes place in a specific moment in time: 3 months after I first met my future husband during a trip to Barcelona (where we spent 6 hours together for one night).

At that point he was coming to visit me for the first time, and when he arrived earlier than expected, the first thing I said was “What are you doing here?” – which we still joke about.

But that outburst was about more than just coming too early. We seemed to be starting something really serious, but at the same time the vast physical distance between us seemed like it was going to make a relationship impossible. Was this something we should have been attempting at all?

After 20+ years of being together, I think the answer is obvious…. 🥰

Now that I’m in my 50s, my idea of what I find attractive in men has broadened a lot. But for most of my life, I was just “bear”-obsessed (all my boyfriends were bears, and then I married one).

So this is definitely a song that reflects how I felt growing up and a good chunk of my adult life. My husbear thinks this will be a hit at various “Bear Events” — we’ll see about that… 🙈

Every once in a while, something happens at home with my husband (something falls, he trips, weird things happen) — and he will inevitably always blame it on a “gremlin” that we have living with us. It became obvious to me that this gremlin needed its own song!

I’ve been asking my friends to give me ideas for songs, and one friend mentioned his recent (and infuriating) attempt to try and get Lady Gaga tickets for her Barcelona concert later this year.

TicketMaster has had a criminal monopoly on ticket sales for forever now, and anyone that’s had to use them knows the absolute frustration that I portray in this song….. 😅

CONTAINS EXPLICIT LYRICS

I used to be a total exhibitionist, and I loved to be super daring and whip my junk out in the most public of places: trains, restaurants, theaters, libraries, planes, parks… you name it.

Sadly there are cameras everywhere now, so it’s not as possible as it used to be. Still… I love sex in public, and I get off on people watching me do naughty things….

I had to address it somehow in a song. It’s really impossible to wrap your head around how something like this can happen, and so “Promises” seemed like an appropriate title. (Although “Oh Hi, I’m Stupid” also works).

The A.I. did some really weird stuff with this song, and some words have some really funny pronunciations. I tried to “fix” it, but it kept changing the song into something I didn’t like. So I kept it as is… warts and all…

With “Promises“, I wrote about the American people who are just… lost, and well, stupid.

But I had to write about “he who shall not be named” as well. Being portrayed as a drag queen who desperately wants to please her “daddies” would certainly not make him happy, so… say hello to “Little Miss Orange Marmalade”! 

Boardgames are my obsession, and I kind of wanted to write a song about them — but every idea I had was just too stupid to entertain. Until it hit me… Analysis Paralysis (AP) is so common in almost every game/group, that it just seemed way too perfect a topic. What if someone took it too far one day?

 I’m definitely playing this song every Game Night from now on, when my fellow players are taking a little too long on their turns…. 🤪

This was another husband-suggested topic for a song. Being a good kisser is mega-important. And that first kiss? “It should be pure bliss…”.

My husband is a “Feeder”. No, not in a fetishy sense (though, um, that’s apparently a thing 😅), but it’s just in his Mediterranean blood — he can’t help himself. He gets joy from people tasting yummy food, especially if he’s cooked it himself.

Meanwhile, I am most definitely an “Eater.” I just enjoy food way too much.

I guess you can see where this is going… 🙈

CONTAINS EXPLICIT LYRICS

The ideas for this song was suggested by a friend, who shares my love for “Daddies.”

So who is the perfect Daddy for me? A Daddy needs to be a more mature, rugged man, with some graying going on. The term “Dad Bod” was invented for him. Going to the gym is a waste of time, so he has a bit of beer belly.

Emotionally, the perfect Daddy is confident and knows what he wants. He can be a little rough and dominating sexually, but at the same time he’s sweet, sensitive, caring and protective. It’s an intoxicating mix of extremes.

The twist in the song (and real life) is that despite being a lover of Daddies, I’m now at the age where younger guys call ME “Daddy.” 🙈

I thought it would be fun to explore both sides in the same song.

I know a LOT of polyamorous people in relationships with two (or more) people, and I promise this song is not about any of them!! 😅

Well… I guess it’s semi-based on someone I knew a long time ago, and it’s the absolute extreme version of this person — if he could live out his absolute dream scenario. (Because, as you know, I like to be over-the-top with my lyrics).

Hopefully all of the actual sane poly people that I know who don’t go to these extremes will find the humor here… 😅

Not many people are aware of this, but something really awful happened to me after I fell off a cliff and broke my back at 19, in the short hour I was waiting, helpless, before my friends were able to find and rescue me…

I was taken advantage of, and it’s been very difficult to talk about this very personal topic, but I felt it was finally time that this 100% true story was told.

As a gay geek, you sometimes need to “come out” twice in life. Comics and games have been an important part of my life for forever, and define who I am just as much as my sexual orientation does.

I never shied away from saying I once owned a comicbook shop, or that I worked at DC Comics for over a decade, or that I’m now working in the boardgame industry. (Even though many people often think it’s “childish” to love geeky things).

I’m super proud to be called a geek, and always will be. If you know most of the references in this song, hey — you’re a geek too! If you know ALL of the references… then we will be BFFs. Oh, and regarding my childhood crush Buck Rogers, here you go. You’re welcome!

In “I Fell off a Cliff,” I wrote about how I broke my back at a young age. Afterwards, I spent months in a rehabilitation center learning to walk again.

Then in July of 2023 (over 3 decades later) I acquired a rare autoimmune syndrome  (completely unrelated to my previous injury), and suddenly within a week I was completely immobile from the neck down. Once again, I was back in a rehabilitation center learning to walk again (and this time my arms and hands were affected). As I write this, I’m still only about 90% recovered.

“Not Again” is my attempt at expressing my feelings during that time, and for the future…

We’ve all had that one “friend” who is just… too much. They can’t stop talking about their own dramas. They couldn’t care less about what’s going on with you — they just want you to be a silent ear for them, and that’s it. This was inspired by a story a friend was telling me about someone else, and before he even said a name I knew exactly who he was talking about… 🙈

I grew up in Los Angeles, but never felt at home there. Then I moved to NYC, and I finally had the feeling of “Yes — finally THIS is home.” Now I’m in Barcelona, which has been great, but for a variety of reasons it hasn’t felt quite like home just yet. And now… NYC no longer feels like a place I can live anymore, which is really weird to me.

So where exactly is “home” now, then?? It’s a question my husband has also had often, as he detests his hometown, and has had to move so often and rebuild his life each time. Is home just the place you’re currently living? The place you feel “settled” in? Or is it something else that makes a place “home”….?

CONTAINS EXPLICIT LYRICS

Yes, I’ve been fantasizing for a while about being the center of a bukakke with a group of guys all surrounding me, beating their meat. I still hope to be a part of one, some day.

That said… I’ve always wondered if I would really still enjoy it during the aftermath…. 😅

So I understand a LOT of Spanish now, and can have basic conversations. But… am I as fluent as I should be, for someone who moved to Spain in the Summer of 2016? No, not at all. 🙈

This song makes me sound way worse than I am, but I’m totally ok at making fun of myself. I deserve it! 

I have some severe mental blocks that I need to overcome to eventually master this language. In the meantime, this song makes me chuckle…

I had the “Make it Stop” chorus in my head, and decided to write from there. But… make WHAT “stop”? I didn’t actually have anything in mind. But then I finally decided to make the song from the POV of my husband, and that ultimately gave me the song’s ending… as there’s definitely something he wishes I would stop doing.

I guess it’s impossible for me to ever be 100% serious. 🤪

True story.

My husband and I took one of our regular trips to Mallorca to see his family. The plane trip was less than an hour. Shortly after we were picked up from the airport, the doorman from our building videocalled us to show us that he was in our apartment, walking in a few inches of water everywhere.

It was such a bizarre thing, and we immediately had to take the next flight back home. Luckily it wasn’t that much damage in the end, and insurance paid for most of it. But what a nightmare and inconvenience it was…

On November 6, 2024, I decided to quit all social media for good. This was something I was planning to do for a while anyway, but my hospitalization and recovery made me stay on for a little while longer. But after the orange dictator was elected a 2nd time, I decided it was finally time to walk away…

And wow… I have never been happier or more at peace. I think social media and the apps were great in the beginning, but corporate greed has turned them into something truly awful. We’ve been engineered to become addicts to our phones, to a point where leaving them is way too scary a concept to even entertain. But I did it, and I’m thriving. I escaped the FOMO!

This song is also for all of my gay friends who are addicted to hookup apps. Way too many that I know spend every night wasting their time on them and letting it affect their mental health.

I wish their was a way we could all be re-programmed to beat these addictions!

With this song, I wanted people to feel that absolute rage while listening to it, and I think I accomplished that. (Including a “Shhhhh!” every chance I got probably helped…. ) 🤣

He’s been a photographer, journalist and documentarian, specializing in visual storytelling. But he’s also known as an oral storyteller as well.

He just really loves to tell stories in any way possible, so this is a little story about him. His enthusiasm is infectious, and you can’t help but get swept up in it… 🥰

After writing so many songs as “DJ Rojo” – the actual Rojo was getting kind of pissed, and was all “what about ME?”.

So here’s a song dedicated to Rojo and “his” amazing music.

You asked for it, bear!

This song is a tribute to those moments.

Yes, I apparently have the sense of humor of a 7-year-old. 🙈 (Although I REALLY like how this one turned out — probably the easiest one to make as I think I’ve cracked the code of the app now).

Although I should probably have a better ending to this album…

CONTAINS EXPLICIT LYRICS

The idea for this song was suggested by my husband. I love getting massages. I really need them, and the stronger, the better.

If the masseur is really hot, and the last 5-10 minutes end up being “playful”, then that’s always a nice bonus. But the actual massage is the most important thing, and it needs to be good.

There’s nothing more annoying when the “Happy Ending” becomes a “Happy Beginning” — and the massage is completely forgotten as the masseur just ends up using you to get off and then get paid for it. I didn’t hire a rent boy! I hired a masseur!! Total pet peeve… 😤

I started with the “meta” song “This is Just a Test Song“, which ended up quite fun. And I really wanted to end this with another very “meta” song that wrapped up this whole songwriting journey.

Ever since I made these songs, there have been so many moments where, during a conversation with someone, I’m tempted to say “actually, I wrote a song about that.”

Just like in text messages, where I’m sometimes able to have entire conversations in GIFS, I’m sure I’m going to get to a point in life where I talk entirely in songs that I created. That’s my goal, anyway…

“Wanna hear it?”